May 7, 2016…a day of change.
| “The scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and LIVE your life.” |
– Dr. Steve Maraboli
Every day is a challenge. Everyone has their own battles. Our minds are very powerful and can lead us to believe things that are so untrue. As I have mentioned before, my battle is body image. It will be a constant fight for me to understand that I look healthy. I have been really trying to eat more, splurge more and care less. As I sit here after a long day, a glass of wine in hand and my acoustic playlist blasting, I want to welcome you to understand that what I share is a continuous struggle. I do not blog my successes, but my journey so that people who are going through a process of change know that you are not alone.
As I have mentioned, I was told I have Amenorrhea around two months ago. I needed to change and after doing so much research on similar experiences, I found my favorite blog that has inspired me in so many ways. I prayed one night for some answers and the Holistic Nutritionist has provided me with so much truth. I encourage you to read her blog because I never realized that while I was striving for the “ideal body” I was risking putting my heart and bone health at risk and since I stopped menstruating, I was told I would have trouble having children if I did not get higher estrogen levels. With that being said, you would think it would be easy to get back into a better place because who doesn’t love eating? I sure do, but after I would eat too much of something bad for me I would regret it, worry, and stress about how my body or people would react. My doctor told me to put those worries away and to weigh in my 120s because as a 5’6 female, the ideal weight for me is 125 pounds. That number scared me…but why? Why do I let a scale measure my beauty?
Today for the first time since that doctor’s office, I stepped on a scale. I FINALLY WEIGH IN THE 120s!! This is great news! My family was so happy and all day long they told me how proud they were for me and how healthy I looked. My sister told me I had muscle and color to my face. I am finally looking the way God wanted me to look, but I did not see this. I stepped on the scale and when I saw the number two I started crying. These were not tears of joy, but they should have been. I went straight to my mom because if you are battling with any negative thoughts, it is not a good idea to keep them bottled up. Find someone who you can talk to and I promise with their love and support, your mind and heart will grow in so many ways. Sitting with my sweet mom, I cried out why my mind is taking control over my health. She told me to think of how I feel. Truth is, I have never felt better. My knees and hips don’t hurt and I can actually jog now! There were so many positives in today, but that number took control and I was getting scared at the thought of being the girl gaining weight. IT IS JUST A NUMBER. As Dr. Maraboli said, the scale “cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love.” I wiped my tears and realized I did it! I weigh in the 120s like God built me to be. I no longer look like this girl from freshman year you see below. I had to celebrate moving forward! What did I do to celebrate…eat a popsicle of course!
Do you have a support system? I not only turn to my mom and dad when I get weak, but my sister is my best friend and is always the one who will tell me when I’m getting off track. Today, we went to the Park Fest on 12 South and ate the most delicious popsicles from Las Palettes. It was filled with strawberries, pineapple and banana. Amazing right?! It tasted better than normal, not only because of the 80 degree weather, but becuase she took the time to go eat it with me. Who you surround yourself with is key to transforming a positive mindset. Who did you surround yourself with today?
I want to leave you with encouragement and hope! I am almost to my ideal weight goal, YAY, and I know that whatever you are going through, you will get to the finish line. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by the most perfect creator. He is watching over us and I know that today’s struggles will be nothing compared to tomorrow’s blessings! Cheers to a long summer full of more popsicles and sunny days!